What is Mabel Pines Watching on the Tele?
by gravityfalls456
Summary: Mabel Pines loves Gravity Falls Public Access TV! But a comedy sketch that airs on it might be taken a bit too seriously, and the events will be regreted! Or not. Mabel likes Billy Mays. Oh yeah, still no one has reported to the mods that there is no "gravityfalls456" category yet. That way people would know the story is a special kind of... special.


Mabel Pines was getting a rare treat- the remote control to the television was hers! In fact, she had almost the whole house to herself, Dipper was upstairs reading, and Stan was downstairs "improving" his collection of Stan Bucks. What more can you expect from a rainy day? Mabel fliped through the channels, it was the middle of a Tuesday and abselutely no tourists had come to the Mystery Shack in several days. While there was nothing worth watching on TV, there was nothing else better to do. Mabel had run out of ideas for sweaters to knit, and she was running out of room to store/ transport them in.

As Mabel flipped through the channels, seeing nothing but that same old Billy Mays commercial she and Dipper had watched so many times, she came up on a show called "Why You Should Kill Your Brother." Mabel saw this and almost froze, she had no idea what it could be. Surely it wasn't really telling you how to kill someone?

"And the top reason you should kill your brother: brothers are stupid! Right you are Ken, brothers are so stupid, I don't know what to say! If you can agree that you, the person watching at home, have a brother that is a poopy head, we suggest murder! Right your are Ken, the easiest way to go about doing this in my opinion, oh wait, you can't have opinions on TV! Haha!"

A title card read "THE END" and that Billy Mays commercial came on screen. Mabel watched that, and, since I do not want this story being rated "M," that will not be explained any further. After it went off, Mabel shut the TV off and went into the kitchen.

"Hmm... This will take something big... Dipper has a big head... What is as big as his head?" Mabel though aloud as she tried to find the weapon.

"Aha! This'll do!" Mabel saw the headstones with the mysterious markings on them in the gift shop, they were almost half the size of Dipper's head, and Mabel could just barely lift one. She took it slowly upstairs, and got to the door to the attic where they stayed, and more importantly, where Dipper was.

Mabel put the headstone down carefully, making sure not to make a sound. She slowly turned the door knob, and it made a squeek. Mabel winced, knowing her plan was ruined. She listened, and didn't hear any movement.

"We're good," she thought. Mabel continued turning the knob, until it wouldn't turn any further. She pushed the door past the part of the wall that it locked into and released the knob. She picked the stone back up, and pushed the door open.

**SURPRIZE  
**

Dipper and Grunkle Stan shouted at almost the same time, catching Mabel completely off guard. She dropped the stone in her hands, and in true cartoon style it landed on her foot, and fell forwards. Mabel yelped in pain, and fell backwards down the stairs. Dipper and Stan stood and looked at each other awkwardly.

"I'm okay!" Mabel yelled up the stairs as she swiftly climbed them again. The stone was still sitting there at the top of the stairs. Mabel stepped over the stone and pushed it back towards the stairs with her foot, giving a "you saw nothing" chuckle.

"What's with the rock Mabel?" Dipper asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well I was just going to uh, test it! Yeah I was going to test it's... rockiness?" Mabel made up this lie as if she had rehearsed. She must have found it on Urban Dictionary.

"We're not buying that kid," Grunkle Stan said.

"What ki- oh you mean... sorry," Dipper said dumbly, he thought Stan was purchasing a child, perhaps for more child labor. Doesn't he already have enough of that?

"I saw what you were watching in there, but we already had all this set up so I figured we'd do it anyway," Grunkle Stan explained.

Mabel didn't reply, she had thought the old man had been in the basement comitting fraud, but he was... watching her?

Dipper glared at Stan in confusion, he had been setting up the stuff after Mabel went out of their room to watch TV. Stan took notice of this.

"She was watching that stupid show about how to kill your brother, it's supposed to be a comedy show but I guess she's so stupid she fell for it. I always saw your parents as being dumb, I guess one turned out okay, right Dipper?"

Dipper was lucky his brain didn't explode at this point, because it felt like it. He just stood and stared wide-eyes at his great uncle.

"Uuh, anyway, hows 'bout some cake kid? I got it from the diner for free, it expires in 30 minutes, so you better hurrry," Stan explained.

Mabel had barely paid any attention to the Happy Birthday cardboard baloons that were held up by the ceiling, which was held up by some unknown force. It sure wasn't held by nails.

Mabel walked over to the cake on a small table. The birthday cake read "Welcome back from prison!" Mabel looked at Grunkle Stan questioningly.

"They didn't have any birthday cakes, so I figured this was the closest thing to it. Y'know, cause, cause birthdays are terrible. Hey, isn't it your birthday too Dipper?" Stan said.

"Yeah, but I got a surprize last year for my birthday, so I thought i'd help you with this," Dipper explained. He thought back to his 12th birthday when he got a dead rat in his slice of birthday cake.

"Oh, okay. Well, you have 25 minutes now to eat this cake before I give the rest to Soos," Grunkle Stan said.

"No, thanks. I- I'm not hungry," Dipper lied. He had plenty of good reasons not to eat that cake. Or be near it.

"More for me I guess!" Mabel said as she grabbed a knife that was next to the cake and cut a slice of it. Mabel took a bite of the

_**BLAH!**_

Mabel promptly spat the cake out into the floor.

"What is this?!"

"I have no idea, Lazy Susan said she found it on the floor under the-" Stan was cut off.

"AAH!" Mabel ran into the bathroom and began de- bacterializing her mouth.

"Haha! Hah- Ha ha, ahem. Was worth it!"


End file.
